Quitting
by Niela
Summary: A story about a bad habit and how it affects everyone.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I, Niela, hereby swear that I do not own Sailor Moon or any of its affiliating characters. I merely intend to borrow them for a while and I promise to return them in the condition they were when I found them...or nearly the same condition...  
  
Author's Notes: Yeah I know I'm supposed to be working on my big stories and I shouldn't commit to anything else before I finish those but I just had to write this and maybe more will come of it eventually. Anyway this could be considered shameless Ami/Mako fluff if you look deep enough but if you can't see it then see it as the story it plainly is. ONE SHOT for now....  
  
*****  
  
Makoto stood on the balcony of her apartment a cigarette held loosely between her fingers. She watched intently as a few clouds floated across the moon. She sighed flicking the ashes from her cigarette before bringing it to her lips to inhale again. She heard the door of the balcony slide open and then shut but chose to ignore it.  
  
"Smoking will kill you," the quiet voice of Ami stated.  
  
Makoto turned to face her with a small smile, "I run the risk of dying each time I get out of bed in the morning."  
  
Ami seemed puzzled by Makoto's statement but said nothing as she joined her in leaning against the railing. They stood in silence and watched the stars until Ami caught a breath of cigarette smoke and delicately coughed.  
  
Turning to Makoto she said, "You should really try to quit."  
  
"Up until tonight I thought I had." Makoto responded softly as she flicked the cigarette away. "It was just the daimohn tonight, I realized how close I came to death each day and it really scared me. After making sure everyone was okay my first thought was, 'God I need a cigarette.' I haven't had a real craving in over a year and I just couldn't help it. I had a pack that I just never seemed to get rid of and well here I am."   
  
An awkward silence reigned over them as Makoto lit another cigarette with a sigh. From inside Makoto's apartment a "catfight" began as Rei chewed Usagi out for something.   
  
Makoto smiled, "Usagi's the one that actually got me to stop. Even before I knew I was a senshi I was terribly afraid of disappointing her. She was my first real friend. I remember after my first day of school here I was about to light a cigarette when Usagi came around the corner and she just stared at me like she didn't know me. I felt so ashamed that I tucked the cigarette behind my ear and forgot about it." She paused and her eyes took on a far-away gaze remembering something she sighed, "The look in her eyes it was something I never wanted to see, it made me feel like I was living down to everyone's expectations of me."  
  
"That doesn't matter to you now, then?" Ami asked.  
  
Makoto turned to her in surprise. "What do you mean? Of course it does," she said indignantly.  
  
"Then why start smoking again?"  
  
"I...I...it's an emotional crutch for me like food is for some people. At least that's how it was explained to me. I was told I did it because I had no friends but when Usagi became my friend I had no need for it," she paused for a moment, "though I think that's a bunch of bull shit. I don't know I guess it's just a bad habit I can't seem to break."  
  
"You didn't really answer my question." Ami stated.  
  
Makoto exhaled a cloud of smoke. "No I guess I didn't. I don't now why I just have I suppose."  
  
"That's not a very good reason."  
  
Makoto rolled her eyes. "What, now I need a good reason to explain each of my decisions?"  
  
"Ones that could endanger you, yes." Ami confirmed.  
  
"If I find a good reason will you let me be about my smoking?" Makoto asked, the cigarette slightly muffling her words.  
  
Ami smiled. "Maybe, but until then no." Ami punctuated her statement by taking Makoto's cigarette and putting it out. With that she left Makoto alone on the balcony.  
  
Makoto smiled wryly. "Good old Doctor Ami," she chuckled as she rejoined her friends inside her apartment.  
  
*****  
  
There we go now it's your turn. You see it's your turn to leave me a review so I can feel really happy and have my ego boosted. If you flame me hey I take those too :) I love criticism. Thanks  
  
Niela 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: yup I am alive. I don't really have much in the way of time to write anymore but I do try, really. I'm continuing this story because I love it and although I don't know exactly where it is going. At least it is going somewhere.

Disclaimer: I, Niela, hereby swear that I do not own the rights to Sailor Moon nor any of its affiliations. I reserve the rights to characters that are of my own creation. And I am in no way, shape, or form receiving any compensation for this piece of literature. Be it money, grade, or other form of payment. There that said on with it.

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

Makoto fidgeted nervously trying to concentrate on her homework but failing miserably. Her pencil tapped out a random irregular beat that had Rei grinding her teeth. Rei let out a growl of frustration getting closer to exploding angrily because of the irritant. Oblivious to the glare she was receiving from Rei, Makoto stopped tapping her pencil deciding instead to chew on the end of it.

Rei let go of the death grip she had on the table slowly calming down and focusing on her World History text again. An uncommon silence filled the room for what seemed like an eternity. Rei's eye twitched when the rhythmic tapping began anew. Growling lowly she began to plot Makoto's demise. Unknowingly, Makoto was saved by Usagi's guffaw at one of Rei's mangas.

"Usagi!" Rei exclaimed finding a new vent for her frustration.

Makoto ignored her friends' fighting only paying attention to duck under a random arm or leg. Makoto, furiously chewing on her pencil, glanced at Ami. Ami, cool under the pressure and all the stress, seemed unaware that her friends had begun to fight nor did she seem to notice when that fight led them out into the snow-dusted courtyard. Unfazed she continued reading.

"Typical." Makoto muttered.

"What's that?" Minako asked startling poor Makoto.

"Geh…" Makoto replied unable to form words.

Minako laughed, "you'll have to do better than that."

Makoto glanced at Ami again, "It's nothing, I gotta get going though." She replied, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Minako smirked, as Makoto left, an idea forming in her mind. In her mind thunder danced and she laughed evilly.

"Time to begin, Operation Winter Storm Romance!" Minako shouted pumping her fist into the air.

"Did you say something?" Ami asked looking around, "where'd everyone go?"

Minako face-faulted.

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

Makoto trudged slowly down the winter streets. Her breath coming out in little puffs of smoke catching sight of it she laughed lightly. Her hands stuffed deep into her jacket pockets for warmth and her right hand curled tightly around her lighter. Stopping to lean against a building she pulled the lighter from her pocket absently flicking it, lighting the small flame and staring at it in a near trance. She let out a muttered curse shaking her hand when the lighter burned her. Spotting a vending machine ahead she walked over and viewed the contents of the machine critically before inserting her money and retrieving a pack of cigarettes(1). Stuffing them into her pocket she shook her head and continued her walk home.

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

Reaching the top of the stairs in her apartment building she stopped to catch her breath.

"Ugh, I need to get a car." She growled.

"Or, you could always take the elevator." A humor filled voice from the hallway announced.

Makoto snickered and looked at the person, "Thanks Kurawa-san, but I'm not gonna get caught in that death trap."

Kuwara Umi nodded sagely, "hmm you'd rather cough your lungs up on the twentieth floor then?"

"Considering the alternative, yes." Makoto replied with a smile, "Good night Kurawa-san."

"Good night Kino-san."

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

Makoto stood on her balcony leaning against the railing. Absently, she wondered why she was standing outside in the freezing weather. Lifting her cigarette to her mouth she sighed. That was the reason then. It seemed almost insane to be outside for such a small thing. She exhaled and studied the small roll of tobacco positioned between her index and middle fingers, such a stupid thing to have to freeze for. Ashing her cigarette in the small ash tray she let her mind wander.

How she'd gotten to this point in her life seemed so long and complicated. Gaining her friends was the best thing that had happened to her, even all the fighting as a senshi was fine. But now, she was fighting with her friend, one of her best friends in fact, and over something as small as this. Makoto sighed and put out the cigarette abandoning the cold to the warmth of her apartment.

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

"Rei-chan, have you noticed anything odd about the way Mako-chan is acting?" Minako asked lightly.

Rei sighed and rubbed her temples, "Other than the fact that she is nearly driving me crazy with her nervous habits? No." she replied blandly.

"Well, I think that it has to do with Ami-chan." Minako stated.

Rei deciding to play along in the other girl's game asked, "what makes you think that Minako-chan?"

A grin split across Minako's face, "Well, since you asked…Mako-chan will always end up staring at Ami five minutes into the study session."

"Okay." Rei acknowledged, "anything else?"

"I think she's nervous because of Ami-chan." Minako said in conclusion.

"And we jumped to this conclusion how?" Rei inquired.

"Mako-chan will show up for our study sessions, attempt to study, fail and stare at Ami-chan, begin tapping her pencil and ignoring Ami-chan, then finally end with just staring at her." Minako finished with a smile.

Rei nodded, "that could be possible."

"Could be? Could BE! It is Rei-chan." Minako stated, "and I know just how to help." She laughed evilly.

Rei resumed rubbing her temples, "I'm not getting into this tonight Minako-chan, go home."

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

Ami sat at her computer desk typing methodically, finding a small escape in the reality of cyberspace. Her delicate fingers produced line after line of intricate code. They flew across the keyboard at an almost inhuman speed. Programming was her tiny indulgence that she hadn't shared with any of her friends. She was almost sure that her friends would be shocked at her deviant behavior.

Frowning she reaffirmed her beliefs, "just because I create the hacking program, doesn't mean I'll use it." She nodded firmly.

Blinking tiredly Ami pushed away from the desk and stretched her arms over her head her back and shoulders cracking. With a slight yawn, Ami saved her work and shut down her computer. Turning to look at the time she was surprised to find that it was nearly midnight. Muttering to herself she stood and shuffled out of her room.

Light spilled out into the darkened kitchen when she opened the door of the refrigerator. She smiled lightly as she found the plate of sandwiches that Makoto had made for her. She had stated that if Ami was going to eat sandwiches she might as well eat good ones(2).

Ami laughed, "she is always out to prove she's the best cook." Taking a bite of the sandwich she shook her head, "I'm not going to contest that." She grabbed a can of soda and shut the refrigerator.

)0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()0(

1 About the only law against smoking in Japan is one prohibiting minors under the age of 20 from buying cigarettes or consuming them, but it is hardly observed and packs are readily available through the ubiquitous vending machines in the country. So, despite being underage it is easy to buy cigarettes without a penalty.

2 According to my sources sandwiches are Ami's favorite.

http/ -- this is where I got most of my information on smoking laws in Japan. 

Right then, now it would be your turn to do something for me. Since I have graced you with this chapter the least you could do for me would be to I don't know say….review it?

Questions, comments, complaints I take 'em all. Thanks

-Niela


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or any of the associated characters. I am receiving no compensation for this little project, I write merely for the fun of it.

Hobbes T. Cat: Not an even a week later and I pull this off. ;) Glad you've enjoyed it so far.

Doremi Ichigo: Yeah me too, I read somewhere that she was supposed to be a smoker but I don't think they actually put it in the anime. Although that could have been something fan-based too, I'm not so sure.

——

The night air was thick with the sound of congested traffic. Above the lights, one hundred steps up, Minako and Makoto lay sprawled, exhausted and laughing from their race up the stairs. Panting heavily Minako was the first to sit up. She looked over at her still recovering friend.

"So, a tie?" Minako asked.

Makoto laughed, "No way, I won!" she exclaimed.

"What! You were so behind me." Minako replied.

Makoto sat up, "Now you're claiming to have won?"

Minako grumbled and frowned slightly, "fine, rematch?"

Makoto grinned, "You're on!"

Still grinning Makoto dug in her jacket pocket.

"Mako-chan?"

"hmm?" she replied half-heartedly still searching through her pockets.

"You've been distracted lately, I've noticed, especially around Ami. I was just wondering if there was something you wanted to—wait Mako-chan you smoke?"

Makoto lifted her head slightly as she lit a cigarette, a puzzled look adorning her face, "You didn't know?"

"No, and since when?"

"Since before I met you though I quit for about a year."

"Oh, did everyone know but me?" she growled.

"What? No, no just Ami and Usagi as far as I know." Said Makoto defensively.

Minako huffed, "why didn't you tell me? I thought we were good enough friends to share things like this."

"We are Minako. It's just that this was something that was mine. And I don't want anyone to take it from me." She said sadly.

"What does that mean?"

"Minako, I've lived alone for a long time. I go home to an empty, dark apartment. If I want something to eat I make it myself, if I go out more often than not its alone and after a while it gets…I'm just not used to having people judge me. Well, at least not people that I care about that is." She said sadly.

"Mako-chan, I wouldn't judge you for it. In fact I don't. You just surprised me, that's all." Minako said with a smile, "And don't forget you do have a friend right here. You aren't alone now."

"Thanks, I was just a little afraid that's all." She said with a weak smile, "Now, what were you saying about Ami?"

"Oh nothing really." She said mentally adding that you really need to know about right now.

Cocking her head to the side Makoto replied, "Well, if that nothing turns into something you can tell me then. Come on Rei is probably wondering what we're doing lying in the courtyard."

Minako laughed, "probably." She smiled and stood up offering her hand to Makoto.

——

"Usagi knows." She said quietly.

Ami looked up at her in surprise, "You told her?"

Makoto nodded, "I had to, I couldn't lie anymore." She frowned. "she didn't understand either."

"You should have just quit Mako-chan, she doesn't need to worry about these things."

Makoto glowered, "You shouldn't treat her like she's a kid. She does understand a lot more than we give her credit for."

Ami's eyes widened, "that isn't what I meant, stop twisting my words!"

"What exactly did you mean then?"

"I just—we'll talk later alright." She said quickly.

"Fine."

——

Minako fidgeted with the strap of her satchel waiting impatiently as the rest of her friends filed out of the door. Standing back she watched as Makoto looked at Ami worriedly, as Usagi carefully snuck one of Rei's mangas into her bag and as Ami gave Makoto a reproachful look. Sighing she waited for Rei to come back in.

"Okay, Minako what's wrong?" Rei asked.

"What makes you think something is wrong?" Minako asked flatly.

Rei put her hand to her forehead, "you have been distracted all day."

Minako laughed weakly, "I'm always distracted, you should know that."

"More than usual. Minako what's going on?" she asked in earnest.

"Well, it's about Makoto…"

"Not again, Minako I doubt that she is interested in Ami that way. You should stop meddling in these affairs, if it happens then it happens. Stop trying to be the matchmaker!" Rei seethed.

Minako flinched, "Yeah, alright if you don't want to know then I'll just go." Minako slunk towards the door, "I'm just worried about her, you know?" Standing up straight without looking back she added seriously, "I'm the team leader, it is my job, you understand." She stepped out the door.

Rei stood in shock before rushing after her, "Minako wait. What's going on really? I promise I'll listen." Rei said in a rush to the girl that was already half way across the courtyard.

Turning around Minako nodded and walked back to her, "Let's go inside then, it is pretty cold out here."

——

Makoto walked down the sidewalk slowly, her mind light years away, "what'd I do to deserve that look?" she muttered quietly.

"Which look would that be?" a familiar voice asked her.

Startled by the intrusion into her thoughts Makoto looked to the speaker and smiled, "Haruka, how are you?"

"Just fine, you on the other hand…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, not so good here."

"You want to talk about it?" The older girl asked kindly.

"Not really, but I think I should."

Haruka nodded, "Sounds like you've got a real predicament on your hands, do you want to go for a ride and talk?"

"Could we go somewhere that doesn't involve intense speeds?" she asked sheepishly.

Haruka laughed, "Not up for a drive then? Alright, I have to meet Michiru in an hour though."

"Thanks, do you mind if I get her input on this too?"

Haruka smiled, "Sure. What do you want to do for an hour?"

Makoto grinned, "I haven't sparred in a while, you up for it?"

"Always."

——

Minako sighed staring into her tea cup, "She's afraid." She whispered.

Rei lifted her eyebrow, "What do you mean?" she prompted.

Looking up her clear blue eyes filled with worry, "Earlier today she told me something and I could just tell she's afraid of something. And I don't know what to do about it."

"What is she afraid of?"

Minako smiled sadly, "being alone. She's afraid that we'll judge her and leave her alone."

Rei looked shocked, "that's stupid!"

"Not to her. It isn't stupid in her mind. She's been alone most of her life and judged too. She just doesn't want to lose us, she's afraid she's going to screw up. In fact, she thinks she already has."

"How?" Rei asked in genuine curiosity.

"I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you, I think she didn't even want me to know, just Ami and Usagi. I guess you should know but I don't know if it is my place to say anything."

Rei nodded, "I understand but how can I help if I don't understand."

Minako sighed, her desperation clearly shown in her expression, "It isn't anything big, nothing that could affect the team. At least, I don't think it will, unless she continues to believe the worst of us."

"Well, we'll just have to prove that we aren't going to leave her alone!" Rei stated.

"And have her resent us? Rei if we surround her we'll end up smothering her. I don't want to see that happen. If we do this we have to be careful. Really careful." She said sadly.

"But we have to do something."

"Maybe the best something is nothing. Rei this could all work out by itself. And if she really does want our help she'll ask for it. I just know she will."

"What if she doesn't?"

Minako swallowed, "we'd better hope she does."

——

Makoto put her hands on her knees wheezing. Catching her breath seemed to be getting harder lately.

Haruka looked on in concern, "are you alright Makoto?" she asked while walking over to her friend.

Makoto stood up with a slight grin, "Yeah, just a little out of shape I guess," she lied through her teeth.

Haruka frowned, "If you say so," she glanced at her watch, "well, we have just enough time to get ourselves looking presentable. Come on."

Makoto nodded.

——

Ami tugged the strap of her satchel more tightly to her body. Smiling as she lent half an ear to Usagi's happy ramblings. She was happy that Mamoru was going to take her on a date later in the week that is if she did well on her world history test tomorrow. Which was why Ami was with her she had agreed to help her study for the test.

"Oh, it'll be so much fun. We'll go to dinner and then a romantic walk…"

Ami balked slightly, a romantic walk in this weather? It was barely above freezing and with Usagi's penchant for wearing skirts she doubted the couple would get very far on that walk. That is if she could get Usagi to pass the test tomorrow. A difficult task but she was determined to succeed for her princess' sake.

"Ami?"

"Yes, Usagi?" Ami answered to show she was listening.

"Don't you ever get lonely?" she asked

Ami blinked at the unexpected question, did she get lonely? Of course she did, it was hard when her mother worked sixty hours a week. She even felt lonely when she was surrounded by her friends sometimes. But that was normal for everyone, wasn't it?

Shaking her head she asked, "How do you mean?"

"Well," she wheedled, "Don't you ever wish you had a boyfriend?"

Ami turned red, "W-well," she stuttered, "I don't exactly have time for a boyfriend. And you know I'm practically allergic to love letters!"

Usagi smiled, "You didn't exactly answer my question."

"I didn't exactly want to answer it." She muttered.

"Sorry."

Ami laughed, "Don't worry about it. Let's just hurry up and get out of the cold." She smiled, "we need to start studying so you and Mamoru can go out on Saturday."

Usagi smiled widely, happy that she hadn't upset her friend and giddily awaiting Saturday.

——

Makoto sat down in the booth across from Haruka and Michiru and stared at the decoupage table in front of her. Haruka and Michiru shared a look at seeing the younger girl's forlorn posture.

"You wanted to tell us what's wrong?" Haruka asked.

Makoto swallowed and looked up slowly fear dancing in her emerald eyes, "I really screwed up."

Cringing at her look and tone of voice Haruka prodded her, "How so?"

"Ami's pissed off at me, Usagi's disappointed with me, Minako I don't really know what she thinks and I haven't even told Rei anything yet." She said bitterly.

"Sounds like you've got some real issues." Haruka said slowly.

Michiru nodded in agreement, "What happened."

Makoto paled slightly, "It's all my fault too." She whispered, "I don't know what to do but…" she sighed, "I started smoking again."

Michiru looked slightly puzzled.

Haruka nodded, "That's why you were out of breath when we sparred."

Makoto nodded sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry I lied to you. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Ami's mad because I don't have a good reason for starting again. Usagi she just looks at me like she doesn't know who I am anymore. And Minako, Minako has been the best so far. She seems to understand me and what's going on. I'm afraid to tell Rei," she looked at the table in shame.

"You said you started smoking again, why did you quit in the first place?" Michiru asked softly.

Makoto smiled, "Because of Usagi. She looked at me pretty much the way she does now. And I felt lower than dirt and I quit, for her. Now, I started again for me. They can't understand."

"Perhaps if you explained it to them." Michiru answered.

Makoto laughed in a self-depreciating way, "how can I tell someone who is so pissed off at me that I'm so damn nervous around them I had to start smoking again?"

"I assume we're talking about Ami now?" Haruka asked.

Makoto nodded wishing she could have a cigarette right then.

"Why are you so nervous around her?"

"Because…Ihvcrshnhr" Makoto said incomprehensibly and looked away sheepishly.

"What was that?"

Makoto growled, "I said," she took a deep breath, "I have a crush on her."

Haruka smirked, "I knew it."

Michiru elbowed Haruka lightly, "Makoto that isn't anything to be ashamed of." She said encouraging.

"Yeah it is."

Michiru smiled, "I'm not ashamed of it and neither is Haruka."

Makoto looked at them in surprise, "You two are…" she trailed off and they nodded in tandem, "I didn't know that. I mean we kind of figured but…"

"It is different to know though." Haruka finished for her.

"Yeah." She replied, "So what do I do?"

"Talk to her."

——

After an hour of fruitful studying Ami could stand it no longer.

"Usagi?"

"Hmm?" The teen answered still looking at her history book.

Taking a deep calming breath she asked, "You know about Makoto?"

Usagi dropped her pencil with a sigh and looked over at her friend, "Yeah, she told me yesterday. I was a little bit shocked but it is her choice."

Ami blinked, "You, you approve just like that?" she sputtered in surprise.

Usagi shrugged, "she's my friend. I support her even if I don't approve of her choices. I can't force her to quit. I wish she would but I can't stop her."

"You could tell her to, it isn't healthy for her." Ami defended herself.

Usagi smiled, "you're worried about her I understand."

Ami frowned, "when did you become so mature?"

She smiled sadly, "I have to be sometimes, but I prefer to be a kid while I still can. It won't be too long before I have people to rule. I can't play arcade games when I'm queen."

Ami nodded, "You could if you wanted to."

"I could but I won't. We all have to grow up, Makoto had to a long time ago. If anything I admire her for her strength. I look up to her and I hope I can be even a little bit like her. I want to be like all of my friends."

"What do you mean?"

Usagi smiled, "I'd like to be smart and logical like you, Ami. I'd like to have Minako's leadership ability and Rei's serenity and grace. I want to be a combination of all of you, that way I could be the best queen."

Ami frowned, "But you just have to be you and you'll be the best."

"Thanks Ami, now can we get back to studying I've got a date to earn." She said with a wink.

——

Right then, now it would be your turn to do something for me. Since I have graced you with this chapter the least you could do for me, would be to I don't know say….review it? Questions, comments, complaints I take 'em all. Thanks

-Niela


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of its associated characters I merely wish to borrow them for a short period of time for this story and then I promise to put them back where I found them. Scout's honor.

Elfgurl: It almost did stay a one-shot but then a plot bunny developed and I just had to continue it.

Hobbes the Cat: wow thanks for the sweet review! Yeah, I think I might have made Ami a little too harsh in the last chapter, I might have to revamp that a little. Yeah, she pretty much had their relationship figured out or in my mind she did anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed hope you'll like this chappie too.

Birdofflame83: I'm always happy when readers can relate it means that I've got the story right. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story thus far.

—

The day had begun so perfectly. A snowstorm the night before had blanketed the city with white and the trees with a glistening frost. Due to the unexpected amount of snow and ice school had been canceled. A giddy Usagi, who usually would not be up before noon on a day off, called all of her friends at 9:30 that morning to invite them out for a day at the park and arcade.

It began with a snowball fight. A ball of slush had hit Rei in the back of her head about half-way to the arcade. She had sputtered and whirled around looking for the guilty party. And found Minako with a mischievous gleam in her eye and an innocent mask on her face. From there it was a quick descent into an all out war. Rei threw a snowball at Minako who ducked causing the snowball to hit Ami. Ami looked on horrified at first as Makoto who had been standing next to her picked up a ball of snow and threw it back in defense of her. Her aim was vicious and true. With a smirk and a cheerful yell of "snowball fight" all chaos ensued.

It ended with Makoto on her hands and knees coughing violently and trying to catch her breath. Her friends had all gathered around worriedly but she tried to wave them off saying that she was alright, that she only had a little bit of a cold.

Ami's eyes narrowed, "Mako-chan this isn't a cold, you know it too."

Smiling nervously at Ami's tone, "I—I really don't know, I never got this bad before." She replied between coughing spells.

Concerned at her friend's state Minako had knelt down beside her and taken her hand and then felt her forehead, "Jeez Makoto, you're burning up!"

"You're sick and you came out with us?" Rei asked her friend.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." She said weakly, "Let's just get to the arcade, somewhere warm at least." She groused climbing unsteadily to her feet.

Ami rushed to steady her friend, "No, we're taking you back to your apartment right now."

"I don't want to ruin your day off." She muttered lowly.

Ami sighed, "You aren't. Sometimes things just change." She smiled softly.

Makoto blushed and looked away, "yeah, I guess they do."

—

The four friends worked diligently to get Makoto settled into bed. Makoto scowled the entire time her protests that she could do some things herself went unheard and when her friends finally filed out of the room she sighed loudly glad for a reprieve from their efforts. Hearing clanking out in her kitchen her eyes widened and she literally jumped from her bed. The sheets got tangled around her legs and she fell ungracefully to the floor. Hearing the loud noise her friends rushed back into the room to find a slightly stunned Makoto laying on the floor.

"Don' let 'sagi in my k'chen." She mumbled painfully into the rose-colored carpeting.

Despite the severity of the situation they burst out laughing especially when Usagi crossed her arms and said she wasn't _that _bad at cooking.

Getting her back into bed was slightly easier the second time. And with much reassurance that it was going to be Rei and Ami in her kitchen they settled her down. Exhausted she fell asleep shortly after the left the room.

—

"She's wearing herself down, going out when she's sick is just stupid, and she could have told us she wasn't feeling well." Rei groused to Ami as they prepared a light lunch.

Ami sighed, "She's stubborn like that." She replied, "It's one of her many faults or virtues depending on the day."

Rei chuckled, "it is at that. Has she been sick like this before? I mean I heard her say she 'never got this bad before'?"

Ami looked down, "I don't know, really. I'm worried about her she shouldn't have gone out today and I well—you know she smokes, right?"

Rei blinked, "I hadn't…" Rei replied, "But that makes sense, I guess, smokers get sick easier don't they?"

Ami nodded, "Their lungs are weaker they can't filter out viruses as easily because the mucus membrane is damaged by the carcinogens." Ami replied.

Rei nodded, "Is she going to be okay?"

Ami shrugged, "Eventually, it's probably just a virus."

"I didn't mean physically." Rei said quietly.

Ami looked perplexed, "what are you talking about?"

Rei shook her head, "Just something Minako said to me, really."

The shrill ring of the phone interrupted their conversation.

"Moshi moshi, Kino residence," Minako answered.

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, "Is Makoto there?"

Not recognizing the voice Minako answered carefully, "she's asleep right now, can I take a message?"

"Oh, well then could you tell her that Haruka called?" The voice asked.

"Haruka? This is Minako." Minako replied.

There was a chuckle on the other end, "Hmm, I thought I recognized your voice. Could you tell her that Michiru and I are planning a lunch later this week and we'd love for her to join us?"

Minako nodded, "yeah, sure I'll tell her that."

"Thanks, bye Minako."

"Um, bye." Minako stared at the phone dumbfounded.

"Who was that?" Rei asked.

At a loss for words Minako shook her head to focus her thoughts, "It was Haruka did you know that they are friends?"

Rei shook her head, "Not really," she shrugged "I guess we could all call them friends."

"Yeah, but do we get invited to have lunch with them?" Minako asked slowly.

—

Makoto woke slowly to the smell of food cooking. Her head felt fuzzy and she had a throbbing headache. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes she sat up slowly her body aching ever so slightly. Absently she noticed that it was already getting dark out. Slipping her feet slowly out of the covers she stood up and shakily made her way out of her bedroom.

The happy chatter of her friends filled the apartment and she smiled despite how she felt. Standing back she watched them as they congregated in her living room. Usagi, Ami and Rei had the couch, Ami in the middle effectively separating the two friends. Minako sat in the worn arm chair facing them and the hallway where Makoto now stood. Looking up Minako smiled and waved for her to come into the room.

"Are you feeling any better Mako-chan?" she asked in a concerned tone.

Makoto smiled weakly, "Much better, I think the sleep really helped." She finished with a small cough.

Minako stood up quickly and ushered Makoto into the arm chair and covered her with a throw blanket.

"Would you like some soup?" Minako asked, "don't worry Rei made it," she added with a wink.

Makoto smiled slightly and nodded.

After settling into the arm chair with the soup Makoto waited for the onslaught of questions that never came. Silence prevailed over the tiny apartment and Makoto found herself shifting uncomfortably.

Finally deciding she had, had enough she asked, "so, what did you do while I was asleep?" in a genuinely curious tone.

Usagi grinned, "We snooped through your apartment."

Minako who now sat in front of the couch nodded in agreement, "Yeah we found some really cute baby pictures of you."

Makoto choked on her soup her eyes widening comically.

Ami shook her head, "They're just kidding Mako-chan."

"Aw Ami-chan did you have to ruin our fun?" Minako fake-pouted and winked at Makoto.

Rei smiled, "Actually, Ami had us working all day. Especially Usagi, who I'm sure is ready for her test tomorrow." She said her tone vaguely threatening.

Usagi laughed nervously, "I'll do my best."

Makoto chuckled lowly before sobering quickly, "I'm sorry I ruined your day out Usagi. I'm sure you didn't plan on studying today." She said contritely.

Usagi waved her off, "no, no it's fine. I'm just glad you're going to get better."

Makoto smiled, "Yep I'll be one hundred percent by tomorrow and ready for that test."

"Oh, no you won't. You will be staying here tomorrow and resting." Ami commanded.

"But I can't miss this test." Makoto protested.

The disagreement lasted only a few more seconds with Ami holding her ground a quiet resolve set upon her face. At receiving "the look" Makoto's determination crumbled and she reluctantly agreed to rest.

"Ah well, I can't argue with Doctor Ami." Makoto shrugged and winked at Ami.

"Oh, by the way Haruka called when you were asleep." Minako commented.

Makoto raised her eyebrow slightly, "Really, what did she want?"

"Just to invite you out to lunch with her and Michiru, when did you become such good friends with them?"

Makoto shrugged, "we have an understanding, that and Haruka has been an off and on again sparring partner for me."

"Oh that's nice." Minako smiled.

—

Makoto watched as her friends started to file out of her apartment. They had stayed as long as they dared without incurring the wrath of their parents. Makoto wouldn't have minded if they had stayed longer but she was getting tired again and she still had a conversation she needed to have. A conversation she didn't know if she was prepared for yet.

"Hey, Minako can I talk to you for a minute?" Makoto asked deciding to get another opinion on the matter at hand.

Minako turned from the door and nodded, "sure thing."

Makoto waited until Rei had left. She hadn't failed to notice the look that Rei had given Minako. She couldn't decipher what it meant but there was something definitely going on between the two of them, a silent communication.

"I—I have a question that I think you can help me with. Do you mind if I smoke?" she gestured to the pack that was sitting in plain sight on the coffee table.

"That's your question?" Minako asked her brow furrowed.

Makoto laughed, "No that was just me being polite, before we get into a topic that makes me nervous."

"Oh, well, it is your apartment." She said in indifferent approval.

"Thanks." Makoto lit her cigarette and took a deep calming drag.

Minako shrugged, "So what's bugging you and how can I help?"

Makoto sighed, "I have a question about love, well, a crush really." She said unhurriedly.

Minako smirked, "Well, you've come to the right person then that is my expertise."

"Yeah, I figured. So, anyway I've had this crush on this uh person for several months and I wanted to know if I should tell them and how."

Minako's brow furrowed, "well, I would. But you'll want to make sure that they're going to be receptive to you when you do. This person that you like are they blunt or soft-spoken?"

"Soft-spoken but blunt when they need to be I guess."

"Okay, how much do you like them is this fleeting or long-term?"

Makoto swallowed nervously, "Long-term, I hope."

Minako nodded, "Is she worth it?"

"Yes," Makoto answered automatically then did a double take her cigarette nearly falling from her fingers, "how'd you know?"

Minako smiled, "You studiously avoided pronouns. And you never once said that they looked like your old sempai."

Makoto laughed, "Am I really that obvious?"

Minako nodded emphatically, "yes."

Inhaling deeply on her cigarette and then rubbing it out in the ashtray she asked, "Are you okay with me liking a girl?"

—

Makoto walked into the crown gaming center looking for Haruka and Michiru. Smiling when she spotted Haruka who waved her over, she sat down across from her still smiling.

"You seem to be in a better mood today." Haruka observed.

Makoto smirked, "I got an 86 on my history exam that I took yesterday."

Haruka smiled, "good job. But I sense that there is something else that's causing your giddiness." She pried, "did you tell Ami?"

Makoto averted her eyes, "not exactly. I talked with Minako about my situation though."

"And?" Haruka prompted her.

"Where's Michiru?" Makoto asked.

"She'll be here in a few minutes; she just had to look at this dress in a store down the street." Haruka rolled her eyes.

Makoto chuckled, "not a shopper?"

"I consider it one of the seven deadly sins." She dead-panned.

Makoto grinned, "Has our server been by yet?"

Haruka nodded, "yeah, I asked her to come back in a few minutes." She replied, "now, don't think I haven't forgotten that you didn't answer me."

Makoto shrugged, "I'm just stalling for time and waiting for Michiru to get here. I hate repeating myself."

"Fair enough," Haruka smiled, "and here's the lady of the hour."

Makoto turned in her seat to smile at Michiru in greeting. Absently she noticed that she had a shopping bag clutched firmly in her hand.

"Sorry to keep the two of you waiting, but I couldn't pass this dress up." She smiled softly, "I think I'll wear it for my performance next month. What did I miss?"

"Makoto here was just about to tell me what Minako said about her 'situation' and she got an 86 on her test."

"good job Mako-chan." Michiru smiled.

"Thank you. Now as Haruka has been eagerly awaiting this for the past five minutes and I'm not sure how long her attention span will last…" she jabbed.

"Hey, I resent that." Haruka pouted.

Makoto and Michiru laughed at Haruka's bruised pride.

"Well, as I was saying, Minako gave me pretty much the same advice you did."

"That's it?" Haruka asked in exasperation, "you are excited because she agreed with us?"

"No, I'm relieved because she doesn't care that I have a crush on a girl."

"You didn't tell her that it was Ami, did you?" Michiru asked.

"Eh, not exactly." Makoto replied sheepishly remember that night. _**If you like her go for it Mako-chan! Anyone who turns you down would have to be blind or an idiot!** _Minako's words echoed through her mind and morbidly she thought, _or straight. _"I'm just afraid that she'll turn me down." She said sadly.

Michiru smiled encouragingly, "you'll never know if you don't try."

"I know I won't get hurt if I don't tell her." Makoto stated.

Haruka shook her head, "You know that's not true. You'll always wonder what if."

Makoto smiled sadly, "why is it so hard to be brave?"

Haruka smiled, "because if it wasn't life wouldn't be so interesting."

"If by interesting you mean stomach-turning, then I agree." Makoto said her face slightly pale.

—

Well, look at that chapter four done. I thought I'd never finish it especially when I got stuck on page 4. So, anyway I hope you enjoyed it and I really hope you'll leave me a review for it whether you like it or hate it.


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